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StitcherHave you ever felt guilt eat your thoughts after you say “No” to an invitation from a family? Shake it off! We’re stacking BOUNDARIES in this episode to acknowledge the reality of saying NO, how you can be assertive when making decisions, and just saying NO in a way that preserves relationships and still allows you to take control of your time & money.
NO can be a full sentence.
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Check out some relevant episodes
How to Say No to Others (And Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty) Part I
Divided into different parts, this article from BetterUp covered the entire gamut of boundaries and the ability to say NO to others, specifically those whom we find difficult declining to.
What Jen + Jill have to say:
Is it getting hard for you to say no? Jen thinks it’s time we change that. We all might have people-pleasing tendencies; even if you don’t, there can still be times when it’s hard to say no. It can be due to anxiety, how we were raised, and the depth of our relationships with the people we’re planning to decline.
Jill adds to identify and pay attention to indicators that let you know if you should say no, such as when you feel uncomfortable, guilty, overloaded, when it crosses personal boundaries, and if you’re only looking for the best interest of the person to the detriment of yourself–these are the things that would usually tell you when to say NO.
How to Say No to Others (And Why You Shouldn’t Feel Guilty) Part II
What Jen + Jill have to say:
To say ‘No,’ try practicing the easy things like Jill, who practiced decluttering first on the easiest part of her house. It should be communicated clearly, so you don’t have to say it twice. Jen reminds you to be assertive but respectful–you should express gratitude when asked or ask them to give you time to make an informed decision. Be aware of the power of influencing tactics too. When trying to say no, it isn’t blaming the person asking but taking ownership of the situation and your ability to make decisions.
You can say ‘no’ by telling them you already have other plans (i.e., “Sadly, I have something else going on, I have another commitment); if you want to express gratitude for their invite or request (i.e., “I’m honored you asked me, but I simply can’t,” “Thanks for thinking of me. However, I’m not able to”). Jill advises you to try and negotiate their invite, so instead of just saying, “I’m afraid I can’t,” you can add “but” followed by a suggestion to compromise. Do not forget to ask yourself when deciding to say no, and reassess why you will say no in the first place.
How have you said no to your family or friends in order to stay within your budget? What was your approach?
Jen had to say no to her friend, who asked them to pay her for the expensive rent of the venue for a Bridal Shower that wasn’t agreed upon nor discussed. She told her that she had to say no as it wasn’t in her budget and was not communicated earlier.
This is no problem for Jill as she often says NO but would also find a win-win situation by negotiating. For instance, if you ask her to go to Universal Studios for the entire week, she will negotiate it by asking to meet up for one day.
Bill of The Week
Thank you Shannon for sharing your bill about cable/internet being lowered more than you were previously paying!
Thanks so Much for Listening!
Thanks so much for listening! Many of you know we have a private community where we do monthly money challenges and offer accountability groups. We want to congratulate one of our members for a big win:
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Prescription win!
Y'all I have been on this crazy expensive medicine for years. I've usually found a way around paying the total price for it, but this time it looked like I was stuck with paying $1500 for 90 days medication AFTER insurance. I called my doctor and just told them I can't afford it. When I told them the price, the nurse actually sounded disgusted. She said, "That's ridiculous. Never pay more than $50 for a prescription like this, there are plenty of options." And then they switched me to a very similar one that is way less.
I think sometimes the doctors don't even know how insane some of these prices are until you tell them. Always tell them! This is a personal win for me that took a lot of stress off of me this year 🙌
Congrats! Thanks for listening and if you want to check out our monthly challenge community head to frugalfriendspodcast.com/club to see what challenge we have coming up next.
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