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StitcherWe’ve all been there—caught in a cycle of self-doubt and fear of failure, wondering if we’ll ever get to even start. But it doesn’t have to be that way! When it comes to perfectionism, many of us picture the typical overachiever striving for unrealistic standards. But what if we told you there’s a different side to this story? In this episode, Jen and Jill are joined by Monica Parker of About Progress to give us excellent and relatable insights about perfectionism.
It takes the greatest of courage to do the smallest of things.
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Monica Packer is a normal mom and recovering perfectionist who uncovered the truest model to lasting growth: it’s progress made practical. As a podcaster and coach, she guides women to find sustainable growth by adopting progress over perfection. Monica is a mom of 5, former middle school teacher, sourdough obsessor, and beginning gardener.
What Non-Stereotypical Perfectionist Looks Like
When people think of perfectionists, they often think of the humble brag that people aspire to be. But for Monica, perfectionism is a spectrum that goes much deeper.
Monica categorizes perfectionism into two main types: stereotypical and non-stereotypical. Stereotypical perfectionists often base their identity on outcomes, frequently stemming from a lack of positive results. In contrast, non-stereotypical perfectionists may label themselves as lazy, but they often hesitate to start due to fears of not being good enough or feelings of being judged. These individuals typically either quit before they begin or give up shortly after starting.
The Price of Perfection
When we deal with perfectionism, we also deal with the silent prices that come with it. Monica reveals that perfectionism can lead to significant mental health challenges and detachment from others. In the context of non-stereotypical perfectionism, it breeds resentment—leading to feeling stuck, constantly waiting, and jealous of others who seem to achieve what they want.
Therefore, Monica suggests steering away from an all-or-nothing mindset and shifting our perspective on progress to focus on the process of small wins over time. This approach allows us to better reframe perfectionism and thrive.
Identifying a Better Aim
In this draining cycle of feeling like you can’t do anything at all, Monica suggests that a better way to refocus our mindset is to believe in the process of the compound effect. Trust that, over time, small efforts will build up. This belief provides a foundation for consistency. She emphasizes that instead of adopting an all-or-nothing mindset, we should embrace the idea of doing anything as a starting point. It doesn’t have to be grand; it just has to be something.
The Start, The Middle, and The Aftermath
For Monica, there’s no better way to start than at the beginning. She recognizes that everyone’s journey is different, and that’s where the beauty lies—you get to choose that one small action to start from, which sets you on a path and builds momentum.
No matter how things unfold, she reminds us that we will face fears, frustrations, discouragement, and messiness along the way. But here’s the good news: if you feel this way, you’re doing it right! Failure is a crucial part of the process. What we can do is welcome failure, accept it, and learn from it. If things go sideways, allow yourself to struggle. Change happens over time; it just takes patience and training your brain to embrace mistakes while being open to feeling uncomfortable.
What’s something you’d like to do but haven’t started yet because you’re worried about how it will turn out?
For Monica, it’s oil painting. For Jen, it’s running a marathon; and for Jill, it’s TV interviews.
Get more from Guest
Website: About Progress
Podcast: About Progress Podcast Series
Instagram: @aboutprogress
Bill of The Week
Thank you Monica for sharing your bill about paying for art class for your toddler!
Thanks so Much for Listening!
Thanks so much for listening. We love love love reading your kind reviews and we especially loved this one from:
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Relaxed, fun, informative
Jen and Jill give relevant information related to finance and real-life. Fun podcast to throw into the mix each week!
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